Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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