She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
