i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize