why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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