Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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