Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
