Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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