I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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