I'm jealous of your bromance
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
