Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Life is so much better after having sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
