just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
