Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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