i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ugly people sure do ruin things
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
