he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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