"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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