So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
