So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
