Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
