so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So much rum. So many feels.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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