I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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