His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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