By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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