If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize