I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
