i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
