she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
