"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
