Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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