why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
