Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
