If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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