your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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