you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
