He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
