Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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