I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
