How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
