I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
