Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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