im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
