I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
