nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
