Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
