Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
