biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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