so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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