Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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