can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
