so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
