Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
