dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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