nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
