i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
