TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
