My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is wine microwaveable?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
