Im at strip club and am horny
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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