my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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