It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
