I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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