I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
