glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
