Your tits are I can't wait for
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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